J O E Y

2012-01-30T03:28:00.002+08:00

It's ironic how unpleasant my CNY was when most people out there are enjoying theirs. I went drinking, clubbing, gambling but barely visiting and spending time with the family, pretty funny huh? I've faced a lot during this holiday and I've realized that when things get too obvious, there's no turning back and everything will be a little too late to change. Histories will remain the same, even if they were uncalled for. I want things to go back to when I was a little girl, when things are still completely perfect, no doubt about that but we all know that it is merely impossible. I've learned that problems do not usually happen overnight, and they do occur for a reason, it just all depends on us whether to try seeing it from a different perspective and change it to a good experience instead. Frankly, I am not perfect, and so I am trying to be as generous as I can, in a sense that I could forgive and forget. No one is perfect, but it is how we make our imperfect self seem perfect to others that matters.

I seriously need to read A LOT! cause I find it hard to express my feelings through words. Jeez :)

2011-12-27T02:54:00.002+08:00

A lot has changed these two months, so much that I did not even have the time to figure out what has exactly changed.

I want the truth, I tried asking for it, but can someone just tell me? Just say it to my face, it's not like I do not know how bad the whole situation is. I just want the truth so everyone could decide on what to do and move on then settle down. It is tough to be going through a phase where you are fighting for a better life BUT more obstacles are rushing towards you. I do not feel 18 even though I am. I do not feel like a teenager because what I have faced and what I will have to face seems too much for me. It is really too much.. I just want to dive into the sea and keep my mind off everything. I feel like a huge stone is on me all the time..

2011-10-07T23:33:00.003+08:00

忽然覺得好煩，好想放棄.

不想要十一號的來臨。

完全不想慶祝我的生日。

2011-09-14T02:05:00.003+08:00

Been reading my old blog lately and I can't believe what I wrote last time. I was once the sentimental type who blogs about love and relationships most of the time, can you believe that? I sure can't. Anyway, that sentimental me is long gone for good.

Well this is one of the post from the so very old blog,

You've left me waiting so impatiently.
Leaving my life so miserably.
Thoughts of you are crawling inside my head.
And it frustrates me.
Cause as I spend my whole day thinking of you, deep inside I know..
I am only dreaming.
I am such a misery, and misery loves company.
Come back soon,
Love.

- me.

This was a really funny post :)

2011-09-13T03:29:00.004+08:00

I've always wanted to grow up quicker when I was a little girl. Little did I know that I'm not the only thing that's growing, my problems and frustrations got bigger and more complicated as well. Sometimes, I just don't know who to go to or where to go to. Eventually, I grew up to the believe that emotionally, we are always alone when facing problems.. But I'm worn out, I'm exhausted, I'm falling..

So now, can I ask God for another chance to make me the little innocent girl with nothing to worry about again? Please..?

:'(

孤单。夜晚

2011-08-26T01:58:00.007+08:00

今夜，又要一個人度過。

今夜，又是一個寂寞夜晚。

今夜，有誰肯陪我談天？

今夜，又有誰肯陪我度過？

今夜。明夜，后夜。。

每一個夜晚，都是一個人。

說起來，可能覺得好可憐。

心里，沒人。

生活里，也沒人。

最寂寞的時刻，就是在你想找人陪的時候，

心里竟然没浮现任何人。

其實，一個人，也不過如此。

慢慢地已變成習慣。

習慣的東西，沒必要也不會隨意地去改變。

2011-07-24T21:31:00.003+08:00

I'm the type that gets over something really quickly,

the type that hides my scars and pretend like nothing happened.

I'm totally fine with things or people that come and go,

cause I'll get over it, faster than you can possibly imagine.

So, come and I'll say Hi,

leave and you'll never hear from me again.

2011-07-14T18:01:00.003+08:00

我想離開一陣子，

去哪里都無所謂。

真的只是單純的想一個人去走走。

只怪平時沒儲蓄的習慣，

現在想走，比登山還難。

唉。

累透了。

14/7/11

2011-07-11T20:12:00.004+08:00

I'm mentally tired.

Tired of all the fakeness, tired of denying my true-self, tired of hiding and compressing my true colours.

This whole friendship is so tiring.

God, lead me to the light.

Bye.

- 12/7/11

2011-05-27T02:10:00.002+08:00

"If you're going out with someone new,

I'm going out with someone too."

I guess this phrase shows how powerful jealousy is.

I'd be lying if I were to say that I don't get jealous over some foolish reasons although it only happens sometimes.

I hope jealousy won't seek for me so frequently because I am so tired of hiding it.

Goodnight.

2011-05-08T01:41:00.002+08:00

My feet are killin me as I'm writing this. Holy mama! A job that requires you to stand for more than 10 hours is torturing.. despite the high pay in such a short period. I'm not the type that writes about my daily life here but I didn't know how to start this post off so I guess... my introduction is kinda shitty but whatever, let's just move on to what I really wanna say..

So... How do you define friendship? Or best friends? Everyone has their own definitions but they don't really realize what they seek for in a friendship / best friendship, or whatever you call it. I personally think being best friends is a burden. I mean.. Admit it, you DO EXPECT your best friend to treat you better than other normal friends right? Don't lie to yourself and say you don't get jealous when you see someone you call your best friend treating other friends like how they treat you. You might call them your best friend, but are you #1 in their list of friends? No... Call me a pessimist but I think it's better to be an insecure person and draw a line so no one gets close enough to hurt you than to open your heart out and let people in when you know that there's a slight possibility that you might get hurt. Just some thought tonight, gotta work tomorrow.

Goodnight.

2011-04-10T01:33:00.002+08:00

Friendship means trust, if you chose to trust someone else instead, I'm sorry I wasn't that much of a trustworthy friend.

Goodnight.

2011-04-07T19:27:00.002+08:00

A simple dish for dinner tonight.

2011-03-18T00:01:00.003+08:00

Can someone make me smile like I've seen an Angel?

:(

2011-02-08T03:56:00.004+08:00

Sitting alone in the dimness, trying to write this. Listening to one of Adele's song, it's a love song.

I paused after the previous sentence.

'Love'.. is a strong word.. it can bring happiness to life, that I don't doubt, but cruelty is also one of its friend.

Has anyone of you ever really thought about.. What love really is? How does it really feel like? When you say you love someone, how true can that be? Or did you just say it impulsively? Did you say it cause you mean it, or was it just to impress someone, just to make someone fall for you so deeply, they can't escape your sweet talks?

I'm not saying I wasn't wrong before, I just realized how cruel love could be, it steals without doubt, someone's time, tears and feelings could be gone with just one word, sarcastic ey?

There was once when I tried trusting people and letting people in but thanks guys, for showing me how cruel and realistic life can be.

4.30am

Adios, amigos

2011-01-25T23:48:00.005+08:00

Tonight's one of those nights where my mind has its way of making me feel shitty, again. I don't know why but every time I'm depressed, my song selections makes it worse. I was once so eager to graduate, complaining about the days that are passing too slowly but now I'm actually missing high school ya know. It's the time when we all have fun without having our brain automatically showing us the consequences of doing stupid things, there were boundaries, we just didn't care much of it, but it's all different now, we've all grown up a little bit, but this bit of growing up made us more mature in selecting between choices and of course made us more alert of what we do and we just won't overstep any boundaries like we would when we were younger. Another thing bout graduation is that my friends are slowly leaving..those that I cherish and wouldn't want to lose are slowly leaving this small lil cute island to further their studies. It's a good thing, no doubt bout that, but..I kinda hate them for leaving, it makes me miss the stupid things we did together more, like a whole lot more. It brings missing your good friends to a whole new level, it freaks me out. I didn't expect myself to be so much of a misser.

Anyway, to those that are leaving, good luck in your studies and don't forget to drop me an e-mall cause I heard Facebook's closing down but whatever, just keep in touch alright? I might not be able to bid farewell to each and every one of you at the airport/bus terminal so I'm just gonna give you guys huggies here *huggies*.

AND COME BACK MORE OFTEN.

2011-01-13T23:17:00.001+08:00

2010-12-27T16:05:00.005+08:00

Touched down in the familiar airport last night. Felt the cold breeze while I was waiting for the car. The thought of staying here for the next 7 days makes me uneasy. I guess it's time to say I miss home, I really do. My dad, my bed, AOD! , and the list goes on.. I wanna go home.

Okay so, we went to Springbrook Natural Park today and honestly it was really crappy cause well, if you've been looking at the news, it was rainy in Queensland for the past few days and it was the same today. We just went on with the ' adults' ' plans and ended up having our socks and shoes all soaked. Just imagine walking around with an umbrella under the quite heavy rain IN the forest with the wind blowing so cruelly, got that? Yeah, it was VERY frustrating. Basically, what we got after all that was a really nice scenery of the waterfall that was pretty.. heavy, yeah I think that's the word, but is it worth it, seriously? Come on! The only thing I enjoyed doing today was the long hours in the car, gosh, with the rain pouring like cats and dogs outside, the last thing you wanna do is walking in it with a bulky umbrella. Oh well, I guess I should be thankful that I'm not the driver, pity Uncle Peter for driving for like 4 or 5 hours?

Now my flu just got worse and I just feel so cold all the time. Ahhh.. if only I have someone that loves me so much, it doesn't matter to cuddle with me during sleep time even if I'm having a flu. Enough dreaming Joey and definitely enough writing, so, bye.

2010-12-24T20:02:00.001+08:00

I guess the picture says it all, yes it's Christmas.
I bet everyone's having loads of fun either with their friends, familiy or lover.
Well, I don't usually celebrate Christmas but here in Australia, they celebrate it like I celebrate CNY, which is Chinese New Year of course.
And it's really warm for the family to get together and do stuff together.
But when the night comes, and when everyone goes home and stuff,
I just feel all alone again.
All alone in this cold, yes it's cold during summer,
dark night.
So Dear Santa, I have a last minute wish, that is to have someone to cuddle with for the rest of the coming year.
Someone that cares enough to be with me all the time, someone that's willing to go through up's and down's with me.
I know it's selfish to wish for something like that, but just let me be selfish tonight.

A few pictures I took during Brisbane's Christmas Deco competition or something, there's still more, so check my fb/online album (still undecided where to upload them.).

2010-12-24T05:06:00.003+08:00

I woke up with disappointment..
Was still lying on the bed, trying to recall my dream..
And realized that you appeared in my dream again..
This has been the second time since I came here.
My runaway trip turns out to be a haunted trip cause it seems that your ghost won't leave me alone.
I'm so sick of having you in my mind yet I have thoughts about you almost once every day.
Go away.. Leave me alone.. Once and for all.

2010-12-20T22:39:00.003+08:00

Dear Santa,

if you do really exist, please make my wish come true and give me someone who cares enough to love and pamper me.

If not, please read this and feel guilty.

Merry Christmas folks!

Sleepless night I

2010-12-17T23:48:00.001+08:00

It's 1.30am now and I can't sleep. Apparently, some things are bothering me.. Some past that I feel ashamed of to even mention about it and I rarely admit to the fact about how I really felt.. but tonight.. I can't close my eyes cause once I do, images of things we did just keeps flashing on my mind. It just felt so warm and secure in your arms.. It's like I've finally found someone that cares enough to try to understand. I seriously need to get you outta my mind if I don't wanna look like some desperado but I just can't help it! I keep having alot of 'what if' scenarios in my head.. I feel so ~~regretful~~ for letting go of the chances that I had to bond with you.. It's so hard to finally admit that I actually felt something but acted like I didn't care.. something that 'someone' don't care about, needless to say, it is embarassing to even have wee bit of thoughts about it. I don't wanna sound desperate in this post but obviously I do so I hope I'll eventually delete this pathetic post.

Was just looking for a place to write so I could finally get some sleep but it turned out opposite. My mind is starting to have it's own thoughts bout it again.

Can someone please save me from this never-ending rabbit hole? I'd rather be Alice and fall into a hole of wonderful adventures. This was totally not what I signed up for :'(

Okay a brief update on my trip since I'm feeling so awake now,

My first day was spent sleeping in my aunt's house so there's nothing much to talk about.

Second day was mostly spent at the beach although we went window shopping when the rain started pouring for a while. Anyway, the beach was beautiful and by that I mean beautiful scenery, clean sea water and beach, hot guys and ~~fat~~ chicks. Oh and we had lunch at some national park which name I've forgotten and it was really nice to have some family time.

And yesterday, we went to Sanctuary Cove and the sun was so fierce I think I'm currently darker than my dad but whatever. I got lotsa pics in exchange so it was a fair trade. No pain, no gain right? Well after that, we went to Mount Tamborine, and visited the winery or vineyard whatever and a few places blabla you know the deal, in short, it's like batu feringghi in Penang but with a better and definitely cleaner environment, oh and not to forget friendlier folks. It was pretty much a boring day to me except that I've taken lots pics.

So today, yes it's fuckin 2am now, I was told that we're going for BBQ at some park and I love BBQs! But I won't say 'I can't wait' cause I obviously can and it makes me miss my friends cause I like BBQ sesh with me friends.

Pretty 'brief' huh. Haha well you can always choose to stop reading and start rolling your eyes. It's just my boring journal :p

Ahhhh still can't sleep but feeling better.

2010-12-14T00:17:00.004+08:00

The day before.

I'm actually waiting for my mom in the car right now. So I just had the thought of trying out the Office2 app I just downloaded. Well I guess that makes it up for a lame intro.

So.. I'm actually leaving to Aussie tomorrow. I'm gonna miss all the fun that's happening in Penang with my mates! :(

Soooo gonna miss all my friends! It's not like I'm not coming back but 3 weeks seems quite long..

But anyways, while you guys have fun, I'm gonna ease my mind there. And not to forget, snap lots of beautiful pictures! So GET READY WHEN I'M BACK! I'm gonna party hard with you guys after my long rest there!

Lastly, I love you guys and I'm definitely gonna miss you people! *smoochie smoochie*

2010-11-27T00:36:00.003+08:00

Time flies, faster than you can ever imagine.

2010-11-25T15:36:00.004+08:00

I've been surrounded by insecurity since I got my heart broken for the very first time and it's true when they say that the first fall is the deepest. It's not that I'm still not over the first one, I just.. can't bear the suffering again..

I'm really sick of being insecure and doubtful all the time, although it's safer being self-defensive, it also brings remorse to my life. I want to get out of this ring of insecurity so badly, I wanna let people in and feel things again..

If only my heart allows me to do so..

(Not trying to be emotive, just what I've been thinking about today.)

2010-11-24T18:52:00.004+08:00

2 down, 7 more to go, but in only 6 days!

After that, it's total (not exactly) FREEDOM!

I guess this is what everyone my age craves for, freedom.

After precisely 456 hours, 28140 minutes and 1688400 seconds, I'm free from high school! (Unless I fail BM, which MIGHT happen.. but CHOY!)

Although it might be an end of high school but it's also a new journey to the second stage of life, and I believe it's called the 'Life Calling Stage'? It's the time when we find out what we like, what we're capable of doing, and what we're meant to do, it's OUR CALLING.

Well, believe it or not, we have like 7 to 8 stages in life and after high school, but we're not even halfway there.

Is it a good thing? I don't know..

We just gotta explore life right?

So.. this is what I had in mind today.

2010-11-21T23:53:00.001+08:00

Good luck mates!

2010-11-05T23:28:00.004+08:00

I've been numb ever since you left, never expect to hear my heart break again tonight.

Not for a reason that absurd.

I hate it when I'm feeling this shitty.

Like I'm the world's worst loser, even a kid could fuck my mind up with a least mean word like 'screw you'.

The worst is, I have no one to go to, not one that I can fully trust or one that understands how i really feel.

I fuckin hate myself for negative-fying things but whatever who cares when someone's emotional, they just wanna spill their heart out.

Feeling really cold tonight, I need someone to hold me to sleep tonight, just for one night.

Can I pay a 'callguy' for their kindness and patience to do so?

This is so old-joey, bye.

2010-11-01T00:56:00.004+08:00

The night is still young, but the street is already empty as hell. ( Is hell empty? )
The wind has been rough since I don't know when but it's okay to play rough sometimes.
I guess everyone's in bed doing what human does best.
Staring down from the balcony, feeling the cold breeze, I have the urge to change into a hoodie and start walking down the street with music playing in my ears until I found someone to hug instead of watching tv alone in my living room, which is obviously an impossible mission duh.
Why do I make my life sound so pathetic? Damn.
Or maybe it is?

Goodnight

2010-10-25T21:24:00.003+08:00

It's been a long time since I last wrote here, like seriously WRITE.

And I still haven't got anything that I'd like to blog about.

Guess I'm not born to be a journalist.

But I do know that I'll have alot to do after SPM's over.

Like, snapping a fuckload of nice photos, collecting more be@rbricks, get back to skateboarding maybe?

And and and... the list goes on..

But I'm not sure if I'll get to do them all..

What I'm very sure of is, I'm definitely using my days properly.

I don't wanna procrastinate til the end of the day.

It's always better to make the best out of life right?

OKAY CAN'T WAIT!

28 days left, yes, and that's less than a month.

2010-09-23T02:31:00.005+08:00

God has been treating me well,
I'm blessed with a caring mom and a bunch of happy-go-lucky friends.
What's more to wish for since I've already have everything I need now,
well almost everything of what I need at my age.
We're all graduating after 2 months,
it may sound like long period but we'll get over it in just a blink of an eye.
But life is still a long pathway,
obstacles are definitely waiting ahead.
Life and death happens around us all the time,
and through these, we face emotion battles,
but we're all learning, walking the path of life.
Life is like a long sheet of blank paper,
waiting for us to fill it up.
But who am I to talk about life?
I'm just a teeny weeny 17 year old that's still learning.

Goodnight.

2010-09-18T23:15:00.003+08:00

NEW CHAPTER

Ignore the previous posts,
cause starting from this post,
it's gonna be different.
I'm seeing life my way now.

Before I go.
Farewell Jon,
I know you believe in Luck,
so may LUCK be with you always.

Genting Highland short trip

2010-09-13T17:42:00.011+08:00

It's been a long time since I last blogged and with pictures!
So I'm just gonna update about a short trip up the highlands.
It was a road trip to Genting Highlands last Saturday with Jon, Amrit & Nikki.
Thanks to Jon, for driving us up there, we took 4-5 hours to get there from Penang.
The trip was quite messy I suppose, cause I kept rushing and we didn't have any plan, plus it was supposed to be a one-day trip, but in the end, we got a room cause Jon and Amrit was exhausted, they napped for a while and we packed up and left Genting at 2.30am more or less, got home at 6.30am.
Yeah, that was pretty much everything I guess.
Well, why don't I just let the pictures do the talking? :)

When we got there.
(I loathe this but she loves it, so yeah, it's up here.)

Our crappy lunch at Kenny Rogers,
and by crappy i mean crappy service, crappy food and lousy food.
Oh and the muffin was really shitty.

Look how exhausted he is.

Russell Lee, no?
Group pic, w/o me
Our first ride of the day

Fucked-up food with a fucked-up price
I know.. I know.. She's ugleee =p
We waited for...idk-how-long to get on the COCK..i mean Corkscrew
I have no idea why I snapped so many pics of Nikki
Amrit the arsehole :)

Idk why but Jon isn't smiling in every pic

It's all about NIKKI LAW, so just click 'X' if you don't wanna see her =p
Stoned

Our supper

OMG! Guai Leng Kou! I bet everyone knows this shop,
obviously its famous for it's herbal jelly (I think that's what they call it in english),
cause it was around 12am and there are still groups of aunties and uncles ordering that.
This is the BEST guai leng kou I've ever had!

2010-07-15T00:06:00.003+08:00

I'm too lazy for long posts.
And tumblr makes it easier for me to upload my pics without having to say anything.
So, say hi to

http://wersofcked.tumblr.com/

2010-07-14T17:06:00.000+08:00

I WANT TO GO TO GREECE

2010-07-13T20:22:00.001+08:00

Idk why, but I like this.

2010-07-12T23:11:00.000+08:00

Love don't always stick around.
You gotta grab onto it before it swims away.

2010-07-11T11:57:00.002+08:00

I want a car.
I want a house by the time I'm 25.
I want to feel good when I'm doing things.
I want to see money everytime i login to maybank2u.
I want people to love me for who I am.
I want someone to be there for me, always.
I love myself and I'm gonna bring joy to my life 24/7.

2010-07-03T00:41:00.003+08:00

Hey there,
I don't know if you're gonna read this.. But if I were to be a little fake, I'd say I wouldn't want you to read this but I just wanna be myself tonight so.. yeah..
Remember when I said that I'm never gonna write anything bout you anymore? I guess I was wrong, well obviously, I AM wrong.. I always regret doing anything that's related to you.. Makes me feel so dumb.
You told me you were sick, and I was sort of worried. Although I tried to keep that feeling away, deep down inside, I just wanna get you warm stuffs, cook for you, as a friend, but.. no, those thoughts are just images inside my mind, I'm never gonna make it real.
I even feel dumb as I'm writing this, cause it's been quite some time since I last wrote something so full of emo stuffs, so full of how I actually feel.
I just wanna be there for you, my friend.
Understand this and make it mean something.. At least lemme feel that you aren't a waste of my time.
I might sound selfish, but hey, who isn't? Especially when you've gotten hurt before.. You're just gonna defend yourself and become a stronger person.
Enough said, I'm so tired, emotionally and physically.
I need a break but I can't.. Trials and SPM are both just around the corner.
Gotta suck it all up and get myself together.

无法彻底忘记你

2010-06-26T22:37:00.004+08:00

当你以为你爱上了一个人时,
也许只是爱上了恋爱的感觉,
也许只是被自己的某种幻想所感动,
也许是被那个很象自己的影子所迷惑,
也许这时我们仍然不太确定，这是否真的是爱.
...
当你用很长时间去忘记一个人,
以为终于已经大功告成时,
某一天，只是因为某一个场景，某一个细节,
他却突然出现在你脑海,且久久挥之不去,
这时才明白从未真正将他忘去.

我们可以欺骗所有人,
因为任何人也无法真切地知道你真实的感觉.
可是,我们无法欺骗自己的心.
深夜里,是谁让你无法入眠,
是谁在你脑中出现的频率最高,
半夜醒来时,你最先想到的人是谁?
我们需要有一个能勇敢面对一切真实的灵魂.

白天是理性,夜晚是感性.
我们必须在白天做一切不得不做的事,
不管你是否喜欢，可是夜晚是自由的.
在夜里,我会用很轻很轻近乎耳语的声音,
告诉自己"我是真的爱你."
总是不想对任何人解释什么,
以为真正的爱情是心意相通,是可以互相理解的.
但是,我可以理解别人,却未必也能被别人理解.

我可以忘掉回忆,让这段感情的记忆只剩开头和结尾,
可是我无法忘掉你,你的名字就象一个烙印,
时刻提醒我,你曾经存在,曾经活在我的心里.

很多事情,我,无法改变;很多事情,我, 不能勉强;
很多事情,在刚刚开始就已经注定了是什么结局;
很多时候,我们明明知道不会有好结局却仍然飞蛾扑火;
很多故事,因为是悲剧结尾所以才美丽得让人难忘.

原来爱到飞蛾扑火是种堕落...

2010-06-22T18:38:00.002+08:00

Sitting alone in this emptiness
Looked everywhere but you're not in sight
It's been different since you've been gone
I've learned what it feels like to be a weakling,
I've also learned to stay strong no matter what hits me.
I've grown up.
But after all the lessons that I've gone through,
you're still my weakness.
Sometimes, I just feel like being myself and not having to force myself to stay strong.
I was born a weakling, and it's okay to be one as long as you're yourself.
But no, Mr. Fact says it sucks to get hurt and being a weakling gets hurt.
So, yeah.. I'm always stuck in between.
And that sucks even more.
I dream of going to a different place, with a different face,
and search for someone like you.
But it's just a stupid dream that'll never happen.
All in all, I'm still a foolish kid with dreams that'll never come true.

2010-06-16T17:54:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna do nothing for anyone but myself for the rest of the year.
I'm gonna be fuckin selfish that no one wants to be-friend me.
But I don't fuckin care, cause you know what?
Even my mom doesn't care bout how I feel, why should I care much bout how other people feel?
I'm not gonna try to make things right anymore, it's broken as it should be.
And I'll let it be.

Currently..

2010-06-14T02:27:00.003+08:00

Me n myself:
I am fuckin broke this month!
It's only the 14th and I'm brokeeeee!

Hi, it's a last post from me n myself to you, and only you:
Sigh.. It's your sweet sixteen next month and I wanna get you a present..
Should I get you a present? Hmm...
I've skipped 2 fuckin years of present and I found something that I think you'll like.
But still.. what if your fucker gives you the same thing too?
Or what if she gives you something you'll like more?
Damn.. I wanna give you the best present ever but...
Uhhh haih.. Gotta think twice before doing something.
And since I'm broke, it's another excuse not to get your present
Teeheee C=
Yuck I sound like a cheap asshole.
But hey! You like assholes right?! :D

Screw Names, We Have No Name:
Ooooooh it's our band name, and we're gonna stick with it for as long as the earth lives.
Lol! Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo, WE GOTTA IMPROVE!

Right now:
I'm fuckin tired and eric canceled skating tomorrow morning!
Yeay! I get to sleep late tomorrow!
Muahahahahahahaha my blog is fuckin boring

2010-06-08T21:34:00.001+08:00

Feeling down tonight, again..
How long has it been..
I've lost counted of the times that I've been this down because of you.
I know you don't wanna see this happen..
Oh wait, why am I being delusional again?
You don't even give a fuck.
You are such a bitch.
You came to me,
seduced me,
then dump me when I was feeling so good.
Fuck...
is the only word that came to me everytime I think about it..
Don't get too close to me, I've had enough of you, this is my last goodbye.
Although deep down inside of me, a part of me still want you, so terribly.
I'm still craving to feel the closeness between us..
I seriously wish we didn't end things this fast.
It's only been a day or two..
And it's over.
Why is it so short this time?
I'm still waiting..

2010-06-06T10:33:00.001+08:00

My stomach is full of air right now.
And I can't burp it out.

2010-05-29T20:58:00.002+08:00

All I wanted was to be close to you.
I hate you so much tonight.
I hate you for making my tears fall.
You're gonna fucking regret when I grow older and leave this house.

2010-05-28T01:54:00.002+08:00

What is there to do? In this lonely night..
Who is there to talk to? In this lonely night..
Drinking with no one but myself? In this lonely night..
Why am I so alone? In this lonely night..
I miss you so badly but it's starting to hurt less..
The feeling's starting to go away..
Slowly fading.. away..
But still,
I've gotten used to your existence although it's been a few months since you've been in my arms..
I still.. miss your touch
..your embraces..
..your lips..
..your smiles..
You're all I've ever wanted,
but now you're all that I'll never get.
You've gone away..
and I long to feel your lips again..
How am I gonna let you know how I feel?
I want you so badly but I don't need you..
I don't care if I'm selfish but I just want you by my side..

2010-05-25T00:47:00.001+08:00

I realized that this blog has never been this dead.
All my posts are short and meaningless.
I like my old blog better.
At least I have something to write about,
even if it's about my fucked-up relationship with a friend.
My life is so empty right now.
No matter what I do, it's still empty.
Damn.. what's missing huh?
Oh wait!
I know what's missing,
it's you.
Yes, sadly to say, I still miss you although it's been what.. 3 years?
Crap, i suck.
And I've been up to something lately,
but my sixth sense tells me that it's not gonna work out good.
So... uhhhh :S

You're not alone

2010-05-18T20:17:00.001+08:00

...

Lust

2010-05-18T20:11:00.001+08:00

I’d rather
Fall in lust
Give me pleasure
Without the pain,
Give me closeness
Without the trust
Give me breathtaking,
Without the beauty,
Give me enjoyment,
Without wasting time
Give me everything you’ve got,
Without having to make you mine.
Feel the vital kiss,
With a mouth as smooth as oil,
Feel your body ripple,
With a pleasure that shall not spoil.
Feel the intense nature,
Through a simple glance of skin,
Feel your whole mind fill with intensity,
As lust slowly enters in.
Let this animal devour you,
As your want becomes your need,
Let it destroy your morals inside of you,
Until you’re let loose, and you are freed
Of every tie you’ve ever been given,
Of everything you’ve known as wrong
Now there’s a point to living,
If you would just play along.

- Twilite91 from deviantART

Hello, is it me you're looking for?

2010-05-13T17:01:00.003+08:00

This song reminds me of you..
Yes, you.

I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?

I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, and my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know

'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you ...

Hello, is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying ... I love you

I miss you, icecream

Thank you, mom

2010-05-09T23:53:00.002+08:00

Happy Mother's day, mommy!
Firstly, I wanna thank you so much.
Thanks for the time, patience, love, warmth, supports, encouragements and lots more.
Thanks for everything that you've done to make our lives easier.
Thanks for the breakfasts, lunches and dinners you make.
Thanks for fetching me back from school although you're in a rush everytime.
Thanks for listening sometimes.
Thanks for the lectures, but you don't really lecture me much.
And that's not cause you don't love me,
you just find another way to make things better.
Obviously, I haven't been good all these years.
And I doubt that I'll be better but I'll try harder.
On both my academics and life.
I won't swear, cause it doesn't work nowadays. LOL
But there's one thing that I can be sure of,
and that is...
I love you mommy.
I don't care how stupid this sounds,
but I'm gonna give you anything you want, regardless of how hard it's gonna be and what's it gonna take to get it in the future, which is, when I'm working.
I'm gonna travel around the world with you.
Bake & cook with you every weekend.
Drive you everywhere when I'm free.
And most importantly,
take good care of ah boy.

I love you 4ever and ever and ever.
Enough said.

GLOWY GLOWY

2010-05-06T16:15:00.004+08:00

Love at first sight

I've always had a thing for stuffs that glows (in the dark)
AND THIS IS GLOWY NICE
Chintee 'gave' it to me as a present in FB -.-
I WANT THIS PAIR OF 6.0! SO BADLY!

Even the sole GLOWS!

2010-05-02T01:11:00.002+08:00

I AM FEELING SO FUCKED UP TONIGHT, NO, LATELY!
I MEAN, PEOPLE (AS IN FRIENDS AND FAMILY) DON'T APPRECIATE ME FOR THE SACRIFICES THAT I'VE DONE!
AND NO ONE TAKES ME SERIOUSLY!
LIKE WTF MAN!
MY FUCKIN LIFE IS SO FUCKED UPPPPPP
AND YES ITS ALL ON CAPS CAUSE I AM FUCKIN PISSED
SERIOUSLY!
AND IF YOU THINK IM JUST BEING EMOTIONAL!
THEN FINE!
GO AWAYYYYYY!
I DON'T NEED YOU TO SURVIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE WATER OR FOOD OR KISSES OR WTV
FUCKKKK
I JS FEEL LIKE CURSING UNTIL THE ROOF FALLS DOWN
GOD! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY AM I SO FUCKIN PISSED RIGHT NOW
IT'S NOT LIKE I WILL DIE WITHOUT MY FnF
FML

2010-04-29T23:11:00.002+08:00

I miss goin to bed with you lying there,
when I get to say I'm drunk as an excuse to cuddle you, to touch your lips..
And fall asleep with you in my arms..
I can't help but wonder if you still remember..
Cause..
I.still.miss.you.sometimes

2010-04-26T22:19:00.002+08:00

Everyone's starting to study
god.. zz
that makes me feel kinda pressured
tskkk
but not enough to get me into studying
why do i suck so badly at school
zzz
lifeless
even my blog's full of lifeless bullshits
and your lifeless if your reading
I'm gonna shut the fuck up cos i can't stand seeing myself so lifeless
bye

THE hole

2010-04-21T22:22:00.004+08:00

Do you know where's THE hole?
Yeah, THAT hole.
Cause I seriously don't know where it is!!!
It's so fuckin hard to locate it!!!
Molly taught me how to find it just now..
But I haven't try it out lahh...
It's extremely stupid,
try it out if your really that desperate.
Well, according to her, you'll need a torchlight by your bed,
so when you're.. you know.. doing IT, you can locate the HOLE easily.
Or you can,
locate the HOLE before doin IT,
splash THAT part when you're showering.
Epic eh?
HAHAHA

2010-04-17T09:58:00.002+08:00

My blog is so sien
No pics, no words.
Wtf!
What's happenin to me?
Compared to my old blog,
this.. this shit can go suck cock.
Oh, I should look on the bright side,
at least I'm not fucked-up anymore
=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

SIEN
zzz

2010-04-15T22:24:00.002+08:00

I'm missing the beach, mates!

Hiking

2010-04-14T21:42:00.002+08:00

Finally went hiking today,
thanks to Kevin for hiking up with me.
Everyone's so lazy nowadays, can't blame no one but the fakap weather.
Wanted to snap nice pics but...
I'm too noob to even get something up there.
Nothing's worth the snap lor..
Don't wanna waste my shutter count.
Damn I'm noob
LOL!
Anyway, gonna hike again tomorrow.
I snapped around 10-20 pics only,
none of them makes me go WoW!
So.. yeah.. only 3 pics were uploaded
Oh and by the way,
does anyone know how to snap landscapes nicely?
Cause I don't, and I'd be very grateful if you're kind enough to teach.
=)

IDFS

2010-04-07T20:44:00.010+08:00

Okay, this is gonna be a BORING post, so.. don't read it if you're not a friend.

I feel like I'm just one of your friend.
Just a normal friend that you talk to everyday,
someone you tell your dailies to.
You do that with everyone right?
Lol
I might not know exactly what it is that I want,
but this is definitely not what i wish for.
Maybe part of what's happenin is nice,
but I don't know man.. something's still not there.
And it's so hard to find it when you don't even know what it is that you're looking for.
Maybe I'm an insecure person,
maybe I'm selfish..
But.. Ahhhhh..
How can you not be selfish when you like someone?
It's not like you won't spend every moment you could with the one you like with every chances you get right?
Damn.. I feel like givin up

R.I.P.

2010-04-05T00:26:00.002+08:00

May you all Rest In Peace.

My mom just told me that a friend of my dad passed away the other day,
and it made me realize that life.. is sad to say, short.
So... WE SHOUlD LIVE FAST AND DIE YOUNG!
Okay no, I was joking -__-
I'm gonna go to bed, have nothing to write nowadays.
God I suck -___-

In this short life,

there's this thing called appreciation.
Try to get hold of it,
and this'll be YOUR life that you'll NEVER regret.

-by, IDKwho.

2010-03-29T14:40:00.002+08:00

I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive I wanna drive,
so desperately.
I needa drive I needa drive I needa drive I needa drive I needa drive,
too bad I'm an October fucker
FML

2010-03-26T14:35:00.001+08:00

I'm startin to like you even more

;)

2010-03-22T16:46:00.001+08:00

Life is always a blur.
Just a random pic I got while we were waiting for Eric and Yuki.

2010-03-17T13:45:00.005+08:00

I'm sooooooooo boring, so I'm up here to write some shit that will bore the hell outta you.
Don't even bother reading this if you don't get how it feels to be this boring -.-
This is what I do when I don't go out during holidays..

Wake up -> Watch TV -> Drink a cup of milk -> Use the computer -> Try to take a nap -> Fail to take my nap -> Get up and use the computer -> Start blogging

Ahhhh! I wanna go out but too bad test is happenin next week, so yeah.. I'm staying at home so my mom won't be so 'tulan'.

I NEED TO START STUDYING & EXERCISE MORE!

I AM SO FUCKIN BORED FUCKAHS!

WTF :D

2010-03-17T00:30:00.001+08:00

I am so bloody fucked-up!
HAHAHAHAHA
GOODNIGHT!

I don't miss you. No, I just lied, I actually miss you like fuck

2010-03-11T23:32:00.001+08:00

I am so fucked-up

I miss you, ice-cream.

2010-03-10T21:37:00.002+08:00

You know who you are.

2010-03-09T16:04:00.001+08:00

I don't wanna care.
I wanna be me.

We'll never meet again

2010-03-08T16:05:00.002+08:00

I hope I'm not gonna fuck this time up again.
I always fuck things up, and then end up regretting like a fucked up fucker.
Lol!
Anyway,
it's been 3 weeks plus since I last met you,
And.. Surprisingly I haven't been thinking much about you.
So.. I guess it's ending quite well aye?
You, leading your own life.
Me, living my life to the fullest.
I hope we both would never meet again.
Or at least,
never do what we do best when we meet next time.
;)

2010-03-02T22:19:00.000+08:00

I think I'm starting to like you,
sei ngan mui!
=p

B & W

2010-02-28T00:36:00.004+08:00

See things in B&W.

It's noisy, maybe the ISO was too high.

2010-02-23T00:38:00.005+08:00

Tonight's another sleepless night..
I wonder if anyone ever reads the bullshits I write..
Well, if I were you, I'd never wanna come back to this after the first visit.
Cause it's so crappy even I don't wanna read what I wrote.
Oops I almost forgotten why I logged in,
So... I was uhh.. lying on my bed at 11.30pm, tryin to get some sleep cause tomorrow's the beginning of the morningmares this week, yeah, school's reopening.
Out of boredom, I uhm.. was thinking bout uhm.. Lots of stuffs..
Stupid, foolish stuff.
Then... I started reading the texts I received on the 11th of October last year, and felt so warm, so warm that it melts my heart.
And I realized that I haven't felt so warm in a longgggggggg time, which is kinda pathetic right?
( IF you are a true friend, you won't forget what's happenin on the 11th of October every year, will you? )
It's gettin kinda numb you know,
these feelings.
Sometimes, I don't even know what I'm feeling.
Whether I'm excited or depressed,
it just gets so confusing.
And I've learnt that 'Love' doesn't exist.
After all the crappy relationships I've been through (I hope yours is crappier :p),
it feels so hard to find someone that you could love (DOESN'T EXIST), trust and rely on.
It's like,
there are fuckloads of people around the world,
but each and every single one of them shitheads are just waiting for the chance to stab you in the heart, and see you suffer.
GOD! I sound so fuckin emo!
BUT IT'S HOW I TRUELY FEEL!
FML

2010-02-22T12:52:00.003+08:00

I'm sick!
And there's no one out there who cares!
I sound so pathetic!
But who cares!
Life sucks
=(

2010-02-19T12:04:00.001+08:00

Today's gonna be a bored day.
I need to shop!

2010-02-17T10:15:00.001+08:00

So bored of you.

CNY and VDay

2010-02-12T17:39:00.002+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year kawan semua!
& Happy VDay to the lovebirds out there!
It's so sarcastic when I say this to people out there,
WHEN I'M SINGLE!
Lol! _l_

HAPPY SWEET 16th HUIMIN!

2010-02-07T22:59:00.004+08:00

Happy sweet 16th TEH HUI MIN!
Hope you enjoyed your afternoon, I'm sorry for bein such a bore!
Anyway,
BE A GOOD GIRL OKAY! YOU'RE 16 ALREADY!
I'll be there for you, friend, always.
U know I love U.
:)

FML

2010-02-06T00:19:00.003+08:00

I've been feeling very fucked-up lately.
It just feels like no one cares bout me,
I feel so stupid sounding so emo but fuck lah
who cares bout being emo or not when you're feelin down.
Like after you have fun with different groups of friends,
then you go home,
and then suddenly you think,
'eh, why i don't have real friends one, even my ex true friends don't care bout me now,
what's the pont of goin to school when my friends that I sit with during recess walks away when they see me, oh crap, I'm already form 5, it's my last year, no point holdin on to it lah. Then my family damn fucked-up one, why can't I talk to someone bout my problems one? Why is my life so fucked-up? '
And then you go to bed, trying to ignore that thought then sleep.
Then the next day, the same thing happens again,
then you try to ignore it like you do every night,
but then,
you can't ignore that feeling forever,
you'll eventually go crazy for not being honest to yourself,
you're fuckin runnin away from your own feelings,
cause you're so ashamed of being so fucked-up.
That's how I feel now,
the feeling's startin to all BOOM out.
But who can I go to?

Fisheye 2 chi-chak!

2010-02-02T15:04:00.004+08:00

Got this fisheye last week,
didn't expect it to arrive so fast.
Lomography website is efficiently reliable!

Glad to have received it before CNY!

(Ignore my crappy pics taken using my shitty phone HAHAHA)

2010-01-31T16:33:00.007+08:00

I enjoyed my Sunday alot.

Got my first board.
Uhm...
I was kinda disappointed that it wasn't my dream Toy Machine deck (Cause it costs 180 bucks just for the deck) but I love it.
It was, nevertheless, my first board.
Okay so,
it 's a combination of a pair of Cool Element trucks & deck, abec 7 bearings, bolts and hard wheels.
Thanks to Zhi Guo for gettin' them for me. Heh!
It's so smooth and nice.
I doubt that I'll skate for as long as I live,
cause I'm not a consistent person.
As for now,
I can say it without doubt that I'm lovin every second of skateboardin.

\m/

2010-01-30T23:55:00.000+08:00

All alone, where are you?
Are we over?
Something said, wish we had
All those good times

Hey hey
Where should we go today?
I brought you in here to stay
Again
Look what we've done today

If I'm going then I'll see the past
I keep on going but I'm feeling jaded
Don't keep running, babe
I'll be there in Wasteland

You start the fight
Don't you leave, it ain't over
The sun so bright
One more night
Let's start over

Hey hey
Look where we are today
I wanna make sure you'll stay
With me
Look what we've done today

If I'm going then I'll see the past
I keep on going but I'm feeling jaded
If I'm running then I'll be there
In Wasteland
Yeah

2010-01-30T18:44:00.006+08:00

I miss being loved.
They say love is like a fairytale,
you live it for a while and then the book just has to end.
I find it so true that I'm starting to think that it's a waste of time searchin up and down for it.
But to those out there that's attached with someone who loves you alot,

fuck you cause you're so lucky.

2010-01-29T09:48:00.007+08:00

Skipped school today cause I don't feel like goin to school.
Saw something last night,
& it was the last thing I'd wanna see in my entire life.
I got pissed off, NOT!
I was near to getting pissed off but I know I shouldn't.
So I quit thinkin bout it and went to skate again.
I miss eating 'Candy'.
& I miss my guilty pleasure.
It's almost 2 weeks.
Wonderin whenwill I stop countin the days.

三人游

2010-01-26T19:43:00.003+08:00

有些话你选择不对他说
你说某种脆弱我才感同身受
我永远都愿意当个听众安慰你的痛
保护着你从始至终
就算你的爱属于他了
就算你的手他还牵着
就算你累了我会在这
一人盯两人疚三人游
悄悄的远远的或许舍不得
默默地静静地或许很值得
我还在某处守候着
说不定这也是一种幸福的资格
至少我们中还有人能快乐
这样就已足够了
有些话我选择保持沉默
别把实话说破隐藏我的寂寞
你的情绪依然把我牵动
躲在你心中角落的心事我们懂
不知道不知道不知道
为什么为什么我的爱
我的爱还留不住你的离开
却总在等待着你回来
说不定这也是一种得不到的却美好的
就样就已足够了
这样就已经够了